Granted, getting a piggyback ride across a wide, raging stream by a young Mexican man is out of the ordinary. (See my previous WOW post, https://blog.bonnieleeblack.com/piggyback/). But gallant behavior on the part of Mexican men, in my more than ten years’ experience living full time here in San Miguel de Allende, is not unusual at all.

My  recent “Piggyback” post elicited many comments to me, both public and private. WOW readers living here could relate to this kind of kindness because we’ve all been the beneficiary of it at one time or another in one way or another. Readers who don’t live here expressed a sort of wistfulness, as in, “If only…” Yes, if only the rest of the Western world could learn a lesson (or two, or more) from Mexico. Lessons, for example, in respecting older people and their frailty, lessons in selflessly helping others, lessons in courtesy.

For Mexicans, I’ve found, courtesies (cortesias) — greeting others, inquiring about their wellbeing, and wishing them a good day — are not optional in daily human interactions; they’re required of a civilized person. Here in Mexico, it is a large part of the rich, old, cultural fabric to acknowledge other people this way, even just in passing on the street.

Yes, a lot has been said and written about the joys of living in San Miguel de Allende – the food, music, colors, art, architecture, culture, history, people, climate, overall beauty, and affordability for us retired gringos – but one aspect has not received as much attention, in my opinion. It’s this contrast, this emphasis on kindness, courtesy, and respect. Especially, I’m finding now as an older person, respect for older people, regardless of nationality or background.

And especially, surprisingly to me, from the majority of young Mexican men. What these young men have in common, in my view – other than being young, handsome, intelligent, hard-working, kind-hearted, good-natured and supremely patient – has been this: their acknowledgment of others’ humanity. And by “others” I’m including the group I belong to, my cohort – older, single, American women – the group that has felt, due to rampant ageism and sexism in the United States, utterly invisible there and has, for many good reasons, decided to live here.

To these young Mexican men we older gringas are decidedly not invisible. They seem to look at us with a kind of awe or wonder – as if they can’t imagine their own madres (mothers) or abuelas (grandmothers) going off to live in another country on their own and trying to navigate a new life in a language that’s foreign to them.

So they go out of their way to employ their youthful energy and athletic prowess to be helpful wherever and whenever possible.

(Stock photo)

Imagine this likely scenario:

An older white woman (gringa), carrying a bag of groceries, suddenly loses her balance and falls flat as she’s crossing a busy street in San Miguel’s centro. Immediately, at least three, four, or five young, strong Mexican men run from different directions to come to her aid. One diverts traffic. Another rushes to collect her groceries strewn over the street. One or two others asses her condition and decide what to do: Lift her up? Dust her off?  Hail a taxi? Call an ambulance? Walk her home?

She is embarrassed, stunned, speechless. What little Spanish she’s tried to learn since retiring here eludes her. All she can say to these kind young men, if she can speak at all, is “Gracias. Muchas gracias.”  One of them speaks for all of them. He says, “Para servirle” (literally: to serve you).    

There are a number of ways one can say “you’re welcome” in Spanish. There’s “De nada,” of course; but also, “Es un placer!” or “Con gusto!” – as well as “Para servirle.” It’s this last one that impresses me the most. It expresses an attitude that’s largely missing in the more materialistic, transactional modern world, an attitude of service without the expectation of direct compensation.   

These behaviors – of kindness, courtesy, and service — are widely inculcated in Mexican children’s upbringing, I’ve learned. So it becomes automatic throughout life. You treat all others with politeness and respect. If you see someone in distress, you run to help them. This is your duty as a decent, well-brought-up human being. You don’t judge. You don’t discriminate. You don’t walk by, thinking, “Not my problem.” You help. 

Yes, the young man who carried me across those troubled waters seemed like an angel dropped from the sky at the time. But if you think about it, he was only doing what he was brought up to do.  Para servirle.

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Do you have a San Miguel “superman” story? If so, please share it in the Comments section. Join the conversation!