My new Mexican friends (not to be confused with my longtime New Mexican friends, who know better) tell me, “Don’t worry!” That, to me, is like telling a lion to become a vegetarian.
Some things about us are immutable, I think, and worry is like that for me. I’ve been doing it – and doing it well – for as long as I can remember. I even looked worried in my baby pictures.
When I press my memory’s rewind button to locate the source of this knee-jerk response to things, my mind stops at this image: My father, large, bloated with booze, and bald, taking a long drag on his Marlboro, blowing the smoke above my head, then waving the cigarette in front of my four- or five-year-old face and slurring, “Yer on yer own, kid! Don’t look ta me fer anything!” Yes, perhaps that’s when I really began to worry in earnest.
But don’t tsk-tsk. I learned a lot from him. Without intending to, he taught me to be independent, self-reliant, and resilient. In an era when “Father” purportedly knew “Best,” his words and behavior taught me to question everything – an excellent intellectual exercise. In a time and place (conservative suburban New Jersey, circa 1950s) where flag-waving patriotism mattered, he gave me a kind of freedom from all that: Devoid of a sense of patrimony (or is the correct word “patriarchy”?), from which, I believe, patriotism stems, I could only pledge my deepest allegiance to Mother Earth.
Inadvertently, my father made me strong.
But the down side – there’s always a down side, que no? – is that a lifetime of knowing there’s no one “at my back,” as they say (“yer on yer own, kid” was a refrain), made me wary, ever-vigilant, always looking all around me, and especially over my shoulder. I became a world-class worrier.
Yes, I know I sometimes overdo it. But, frankly, there’s a lot to worry about in this crazy world. If you don’t believe me, just spend a little time watching CNN. You can count on the avuncular Wolf Blitzer to comment on correspondents’ reports — such as yesterday’s newest revelation about what North Korea has been up to – with, “Well, that is worrisome!”
The biggest worry for Americans, in my view right now — the worry at the very peak of the mountain range of current world worries — is that the big, bloated, bully Donald Trump could indeed be elected President. Now that’s something to worry about.
But, getting back to my new Mexican friends:
They came to my house last Saturday evening to celebrate a birthday. “Don’t worry,” they told me ahead of time, “we’ll take care of everything!”
And, true to their word, they did. They brought the food, the music, the laughter and the dancing. Fourteen guests in all – the eighty-year-old patriarch widower, five of his twelve children, plus their children and “the birthday boy” and his grown daughter. After having spent ten stressful years as a New York City caterer who worried herself sick over the success (or failure) of every party she did, I was surprised (and relieved) to find that at this birthday party I truly had nothing to worry about.
I observed this family’s dynamics warily, objectively, like the closet anthropologist I tend to be: their joie de vivre, their ease in each other’s company; three generations cooking, eating, laughing and dancing happily, seamlessly, together.
This family embraces me. The men, old and young, dance with me as though my age is irrelevant. Twirling to their Mexican CDs, “worry” is the last thing on my mind.
I marvel at our polar differences. And I make a silent request to the Universe: If I have to come back again, I hope it’s as a happy-go-lucky Mexican person in a large, loving family that spends most Saturday nights dancing.
Happy Birthday everyone! Great blog!
Thank you, dear Sara Jean! Yes, being with these happy Mexican people felt like a rebirth of sorts for me.
Loved, loved, loved this whole post, Bonnie! The photo is absolutely darling.
Thank you, Barb! So glad you liked it. I had some concerns about this one… Not “slant” enough?
Sending lots and lots of love to resourceful Bonnie. Awesome post, my dear friend❤️
Thanks so much, Arti! So glad you liked it. Love to you.
¡Feliz cumpleaños a los cumpleañeros!! DId they sing Las Mañanitas? Love the picture, Bonnie Bonita! Nada de worries…be happy! Muakisses from Taos,,,
Gracias, Amiguita Te! Si, they sang all the b’day songs, including “Happy Birthday” in English. So much fun! — xx
What a beautiful post Bonnie. One of the most stirring songs in the mariachi-ranchera repertoire is ‘Mexico Lindo y Querido’ whose lyrics are soooo heart warming and full of love and devotion for the nurturing motherland that there’s nothing quite like it in the English language songbook. Following are the Spanish lyrics for you to honor and cherish during your newfound and treasured sunset years in Mexico:
Letras de Jorge Negrete–Mexico Lindo y Querido (Chucho Monge)
Voz de la guitarra mía,
Al despertar la mañana
Quiere cantar su alegría
A mi tierra mexicana
Yo le canto a sus volcanes
A sus praderas y flores
Que son como talismanes
Del amor de mis amores
México Lindo y Querido
si muero lejos de ti
Que digan que estoy dormido
Y que me traigan aquí
Que digan que estoy dormido
Y que me traigan aquí
México Lindo y Querido
Si muero lejos de ti
Que me entierren en la sierra
Al pie de los magueyales
Y que me cubra esta tierra
Que es cuna de hombres cabales
Voz de la guitarra mía,
Al despertar la mañana
Quiere cantar su alegría
A mi tierra mexicana
México Lindo y Querido
Si muero lejos de aquí
Que digan que estoy dormido
Y que me traigan aquí
Que digan que estoy dormido
Y que me traigan aquí
México Lindo y Querido
Si muero lejos de ti
Mil gracias, Horacio! Now I know what my Spanish lesson for today will consist of — translating this lovely song! — BB
Love this post! You look happy and carefree–stay in that moment!
Thanks so much, Barbara. Yes, I’m enjoying every moment. Hope you are too! — BB